Onion News Network: O-Span

Videos in this Playlist

1. 1

   

   Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus

   from The Onion

   1:47 | 30 views

   Ford says the '93 Taurus is the only car to drive in 2010, and they think Americans will have no other choice but to agree.

2. 2

   

   BREAKING NEWS: BAT LOOSE IN CONGRESS

   from The Onion

   3:15 | 58 views

   Congress is deadlocked on the best way to get a bat out of their committee chamber.

3. 3

   

   Congresswoman Says Botched Plastic Surgery Most Important Issue Facing U.S.

   from The Onion

   2:01 | 67 views

   Rep. Lynn Merriweather says bill will protect the millions of Americans who just want to appear as young as they feel on the inside, that's all.

4. 4

   

   Congressman Demands To Know Who Left Fish Sandwich To Rot On House Floor

   from The Onion

   2:46 | 47 views

   Rep. McCullough cannot even fathom the amount of contempt you'd have to hold for Congress, the American people to do something so inconsiderate.

5. 5

   

   Congressman's Son Won't Shut The Hell Up During Hearing

   from The Onion

   2:23 | 67 views

   Congressman Eisley conducts hearing on Market Data Protection Reform, restrains self from murdering five year old son.

6. 6

   

   Treasury Department Issues Emergency Recall Of All U.S. Dollars

   from The Onion

   1:52 | 44 views

   Treasury Officials say the dye used in printed money is extremely toxic and urge Americans to send all their cash to Washington immediately.

7. 7

   

   Congressmans War Hero Son Would Have Wanted Highway Bill Passed

   from The Onion

   2:19 | 50 views

   Rep. David Whittle (D-VA) speaks passionately about how his son, who died in Iraq, would have loved to see this appropriations bill passed.

8. 8

   

   Congressman Offers Preemptive Apology For Extramarital Affair

   from The Onion

   2:28 | 85 views

   Rep. Gregory White (D-NH) tearfully asks forgiveness for the degrading and sinful acts he is about to engage in.

9. 9

   

   Congress Debates Adding Elaborate Dance To Obama's Inauguration Ceremony

   from The Onion

   2:32 | 68 views

   Rep. Cummings (D-VA) wants to mark Obama's historic inauguration with an intricately choreographed dance piece of his own creation.

10. 10

    

    President To Face Down Monster Attack, Own Demons In Action-Packed Schedule

    from The Onion

    2:47 | 71 views

    The press secretary tells reporters that before the president can defeat the monster, he'll have to defeat his greatest enemy of all: his own doubts.